Thursday, March 31, 2016

The Dark Room

When I first started in photography, I was living in the "dark room." I was emotionally depressed...probably even in a darker place than depression.  I was physically bankrupt, with no energy reserves.  As I look back, I don't know how I survived the dark room.

Every time the phone rang, I cringed, "Now what?"  And sure enough, another drug associated crisis would send my life back into a blinding hurricane of chaos.  So much chaos that I couldn't see the next hit coming.  Years and years of it.

In between bouts of crisis, I tried to heal. The windows of time between the bouts were narrow. Sometimes, I had just a day or two. Often, not even an hour or two.

To heal, I started looking outside of the dark room.  I looked out.  Outside, I saw that there was light. I saw people, seemingly happy...seeming living "normal" lives.  I isolated in the dark room, but began to look out.

My camera helped me capture moments of light.  And when the darkness fell.....yet again...I could look at my photographs.  Looking at my captures brought light to me, even as I was living in the dark room.

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